sᴛᴇʟʟᴀ ᴅᴇᴍɪʀ

✰ the product of two very free spirits, stella has often wondered exactly how she came to be the result. her parents, peter and rose, have wandered through life in a carefree state, even through her younger brother's autism diagnosis and multiple miscarriages, while she obsesses and nitpicks over the smallest of things. she loves both of her parents as much as is humanly possible but a part of her will always remain jealous of their anxiety-free outlook.

✰ a second generation bibliophile, stella has been an admirer of literature for as long as she can remember. from obsessively reading dr. seuss as a child (and still as an adult, let's be real) to her parents introducing her to the classics at a young age, her appreciation for books has only grown as she has gotten older. they are undeniably her go-to when she is upset or needs a good chuckle to bring her out of a funk. while she may be attending college with eyes on the prize of a coveted psychology degree, her heart is set on taking over the family business from her parents one day and being around to help future generations cultivate a love of reading similar to her own.

✰ looking at stella, or really the demir family in general, you wouldn't assume that they were, in fact, an upper class family by name. she has never been quick to admit that her father comes from money; the family has always preferred to focus on keeping the business afloat with a hefty savings account waiting in the wings should they get into trouble. only those closest to the family, including one or two of stella's most trusted friends, know "the family secret."

✰ stella only has one real secret and she has worked hard to keep it under lock and key. there is only one person outside of the family (and a list of medical professionals) that is aware that she became severely depressed as a side effect of her anxiety and attempted to overdose at age seventeen. thankfully, this led to a prescription regimen and a recommendation of therapy, though she only attended two sessions before she convinced her parents to let her try just the medication for a while. keeping up with her xanax routine worked moderately well for both her social anxiety disorder and depression until late july 2015 when everything hit her again full force. following a particularly bad attack, she, begrudgingly, made the decision to get checked out again. this visit led to a change in medication (to zoloft) and it was recommended that she attend a cognitive behavioral therapy group once per week. she isn't a fan of talking about her issues, and even less so in front of her peers, but she's determined to get better.

✰ began journaling at at age fourteen and still frequently does so. the stacks of notebooks in her closet contain everything from brags to cathartic ramblings to short stories. to this day, she has never let a single soul read anything contained inside those pages.

✰ as a child, stella's maternal grandparents always made a big deal out of things like meteor showers and eclipses. they taught her to love the cosmos and beyond and often took her on day trips to planetariums as rewards for academic accomplishments. it's one of many reasons that her closest friends call her stellar (short for interstellar). to this day, she still gets excited when she sees a shooting star and could google photos all day long.

✰ met gabe when he would frequently come over to hang out with her older brother, marcus. gabe and marcus may have been teammates, but he and stella bonded immediately (even though she was sure that her younger status probably made him view her as the annoying tag-along). for the past eight years, he has been the one person who has never caused her trust to waver even a smidgen. throughout all of her struggles with anxiety (and worse), he has been right beside her, helping her along every step of the way. the two began dating in early september 2015 and almost immediately realized that they had basically been dating for years, sans label.

✰ stella, begrudgingly, took the driving test at age eighteen at the insistence of her parents. while she passed the test with flying colors, being behind the wheel is one of many things that makes her anxious and that she'd rather not participate in. she can count on her hands the number of times that she has driven and has no plans to increase that number in the immediate future. for this reason, she does not own a car as it would just sit at her parents' home and go to waste. as a means of transportation, stella typically walks most places, such as to and from work, only asking for a ride if she's feeling a little under the weather or needs groceries.

✰ stella has struggled for years with the ability to trust others due to her social anxiety disorder. more often than not, she is extremely wary of someone (especially a relative stranger) complimenting her or extending kindness as she believes it is a setup that will end in her being embarrassed or made fun of. even compliments from her family and closest friends typically are brushed off as she believes that they are just being used to placate her and make her refrain from being so self-critical of her appearance and actions.

✰ a very typical virgo, she very rarely discusses her feelings with someone else, and instead chooses to either let word vomit flow in the form of some cathartic journaling or lives in a state of denial where she convinces herself that her life is just peachy and she doesn't want to punch a pillow into submission. the inability to accurately convey her feelings has gotten her into trouble on more than one occasion as she will just it all bottle up until she explodes.

✰ after a suggestion from a friend, and a very lengthy conversation with her therapist, stella made the decision to begin researching emotional support dogs. this plan is temporarily on hold during her travels but she has definitely decided that she would benefit from the presence of one.

✰ has two tattoos as of october 2015: 1) a watercolor doe (right forearm) referencing her obsession with harry potter - and a few other things that only select people know and 2) a puzzle piece on the back of her neck to which gabe has a corresponding one.

✰ since discovering that she was pregnant in early 2016, stella has become even more committed to bettering her mental health. she's made it a point to attend at least one group therapy session per week and keep track of any times that she feels overly anxious or blanketed. her bad days have become few and far between in recent months though they have not disappeared completely.

✰ personality: typically reserved the first few times she's around someone new until she knows that there is common ground. intimidated by large crowds unless someone is brave enough to take on the task of distracting her and helping her to settle in. has, on more than occasion, been forced to stutter her way through making new acquaintances because her limited social skills with strangers have failed her. once she gets to know someone, all filters go out the window and she's fairly bubbly, loud, and causes laughter more often than not.